Rock Critic Law
Dueling guitars? Sophmore slump? Aw, come on guys. We can do better than that!
It’s March, which means that a quarter of 2020 is almost gone. Can you believe it? So let me ask – how are those New Year's Resolutions coming? You hanging in there?
You might have noticed that I’m still gainfully employed at a job I’m still enjoying. I have not yet embarked on my life of crime (see previous humorous post). I can’t figure out what my problem is. I think it’s a combination of having a steady paycheck, not having to shower with 30 other people, and just not being able to find the proper motivation.
I think federal crimes might be too big for me to get my feet wet. Maybe I need to start smaller.
I like music. Maybe if I learn to create poorly written reviews of rock bands, I’ll finally find the path I need to gain true outlaw status.
Thank goodness I just found Michael Azerrad’s latest book. Rock Critic Law quickly and easily demonstrates 101 of the best ways to write badly about music.
A long-time rock critic, Azerrad started seeing the same phrases pop up in every review he was reading. He tweeted a few that were particularly annoying with #RockCriticLaw and the phenomenon grew from there. Phrases like “moniker”, “sophomore slump”, “dueling guitars” became so ubiquitous that Azerrad just asked his fellow rock critics to “think a little harder” when writing about their livelihoods.
In addition to brilliant insights into the rock critic mind, Azerrad asked his buddy Edwin Fotheringham to illustrate his maniacal laws because, “Ed is a smart guy and he draws good.” I second that emotion. I think I enjoyed the drawings as much or more than the laws themselves.
This is not a deep, dark, soul piercing book. It’s light and funny, and if you really try you can probably read it in less than an hour. But it is definitely worth your time.
If nothing else, it should keep you out of trouble so you don’t take up a life of crime (seriously, check this old post out).
Happy Writing Bad…